As I sit here and write these words, I have a very heavy heart.  It has taken many years and many lessons to get me to this point, but nonetheless I am here.  I was doing some light web surfing and Facebook post reading and came across an article in which a republican congressman held an inquiry where the lead witness took the fifth and a democrat congressman ranted on the republican for holding the meeting.  Ultimately, the republican turned the mic off on the democrat and thus ended the discussion.  It seems this is business as usual in our nation’s capital.  This in itself did not bother me.  However, reading the posts about the exchange deeply disturbed me.

Like me, many Americans have their opinion.  Usually, I keep mine to myself.  My children have heard me many times comment about opinions.  Like sphincters, everyone has them and at some point they all stink.  However, in looking at how divisive we have become as a nation I feel more voices like mine need to be heard.  I believe this country is great.  Yes, I said great and not the greatest.  We have eroded our moral high ground throughout the years to the point where our positions on international issues are mocked and despised.  Yet, we are still the most generous nation in the world when it comes to giving money and aid to other countries.  My issue with giving aid to others is we are ignoring our own at the same time.  How many times in recent history has our government been all but shut down because of the national debt.

We borrow money from others so we can give it away?  Why?  Is this to keep allies in the world?  Is this because the people who we are giving the money to really need it?  In either case, we the people are bearing the burden of this debt.  It needs to be OUR decision, not the politician’s decision.  Unfortunately, it is our decision.  We decide who votes on our behalf.  We decide who will be the Chief Executive of this great nation.  We listen to their rhetoric, their lies, and their half-truths and blindly send them to Washington with blank checks.  We the people are to blame for this.  We allow it.  Make no mistake about it, this is our fault.

In our domestic issues we debate and discuss with little to no consideration for each other’s point of view.  For the most part people espouse their view with little to no disregard for the harm and hate it promotes.  A hard line is drawn and will not move.  We all believe we are right and if you disagree with us you are wrong.  Why?  Is this healthy for our society?  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  For every winner someone loses.  Not everything is black and white, there is a lot of gray.  I see a lot of memes on fb.  Most of them are meant to be tongue in cheek.  Some make sense, others I find short sighted.  But what I find little of is debate in the post.  I do have one giant exception to my friends in this regard.  My friend, Wrex.  Wrex has very pointed and distinct views.  However, I do from time to time catch him playing devil’s advocate and asking the pointed questions most people skirt.  I do not always agree with him, but I value and respect his point of view and his willingness to debate them.  Take this as a warning though, if you have a viewpoint that is contradictory to what Wrex’s view is on a subject, tread lightly.  Wrex is highly intelligent and able to support his views in a debate.  There is no mercy rule in a debate.  It can become heated and contested very quickly.  But then again, that is what makes a good debate.  Passion and intelligence.

We have gotten away from discussions and debates and moved towards what is widely seen as politically correct.  Arguments dissolve into racial lines or sexual orientation lines or financial status lines and in these areas we all lose.  In very few arguments are there right and wrong.  In most arguments there is what is best and what is worst.  Take gay marriage for example.  People will argue right and wrong.  For conservative Christians this is a very troubling subject and is very clearly wrong.  Unless their child happens to be gay or lesbian and then it takes on the shades of gray.  I agree that there are some people in the gay and lesbian community that should not marry.  But there are also people in the heterosexual community that should not either.  Where do I possess the right and authority to deny anyone the right to choose a mate?  Christians will argue that marriage is between a man and a woman as defined in the Bible.  However, we are a country founded upon freedom of religion.  This argument does not stand up in a court of law that is not governed by the Bible.  Furthermore, in the same Bible that defines marriage it states that we should not judge others.  Yet that is exactly what we do when we state that gay marriage will erode family values.  I personally do not understand a gay lifestyle.  I have never looked at another man and thought I would like to spend the rest of my life with this person.  However, I have looked at my wife that way.  I can understand the desire to spend my life with another person raising children to be productive members of society.  Is that not what marriage is?  No?  You are right, there are people who marry and have no desire whatsoever to raise children.  What then is the definition of a marriage?  I propose that it is two people who want to spend the rest of their life being best friends and share in everything life has to offer, both good and bad with each other.  Even in that definition, there is room for debate.  For example, some cultures believe in monogamy and some cultures view polygamy as acceptable.

Other things that get brushed over and define lines like social programs, abortion, gun control etc., they all follow the same pattern.  We align ourselves to the camp that most reflects our views and shout loudly that our views are right and your views are wrong.  We attempt to pass laws that make our point of view legitimate and other’s point of view illegal.  If we demonize one another then everything will be right in the world.  Surely it will not make the world more divisive than it already is.  There is no common ground to be found here.  We cannot live with this wicked and immoral or dangerous and costly issue.  IT MUST CHANGE.  Remember, what is wicked and immoral to one and dangerous and costly to one is not for everyone.

That brings me to my point and what has deeply disturbed me.  We have divided ourselves and demonized the others until we have come to the point in time we currently reside.  United we stand, divided we fall.  Even in division there can be some level of unity for the greater good of the people of this great country.  As for me, I will continue the path that I have chosen to love and respect all my fellow man even when their viewpoint is contrary to my own.  I will debate and discuss without hatred or malice.  I will seek to understand that which I do not.  After all, I only get one chance to live this life.  I only hope that when I pass from this earth, people will say that I was a good man, with a good heart that treated others as I wanted to be treated.  I know that I have not always lived up to this.  But I do strive for it and hopefully someday I will be the man I want to be and bring unity and not division.